When Answering Questions is Annoying

I have been willing to answer most questions people have asked about my children and their diagnoses, especially when it is another parent who is concerned about his/her own children and autism. Lately, however, I have been drilled repeatedly by one woman in particular who doubts that my children are anywhere on the autism spectrum.

She seems particularly skeptical about Ainsley. I am the first to admit that Ainsley's symptoms of Asperger's are mild and rarely noticeable in public, and her ADHD symptoms are fairly well-controlled with medication. My daughter is fortunate that she has responded so well to the treatments we have selected for her. This does not mean her life is easy. It does mean she is benefiting from our experiences with her older sibling.

It is understandable to want to seek the insights a parent with more experience in this area. I certainly did in the beginning and still do to this day. But for someone new to this game to tell me that my daughter either never had autism or has been cured by what we have done shows not only this woman's ignorance about autism, but also her inability to see beyond the 90 minutes of play time our children have had together.

She has never seen Ainsley at home, unmedicated. She has never seen Ainsley walk around in circles and utter a phrase repeatedly for 10 minutes. She is under the impression it is normal for a child not to speak before her second birthday and that Early Childhood Intervention doesn't know what they are doing. This woman seems to think it is acceptable to tell me she knows more about my children than I do. She is really pissing me off.

So I am sitting here wondering how much longer I am going to allow her to ask questions about my kids and then insult me by telling me I am wrong. We are bound to run into each other again, though hopefully not very soon.

The next time this happens, I plan to respond to each of her questions by asking the same question about her own daughter. No more answers. Just questions. Either she will start thinking about her own child's issues or she'll just get annoyed and leave me alone. I don't want to be mean, but she has just crossed the line one too many times. Hopefully, hearing her own questions asked of her will help her to see how inappropriate her inquiries and conclusions have been.