Yesterday, Ainsley had a birthday party to attend for one of her school mates. It was at a kids' gym with lots of activity and noise - a fun experience for her, but a bad place for Ian to be hanging around. I knew she could handle being at this party on her own, so Ian and I gave her kisses and we went across the street to McDonald's.
It was late afternoon, and Ian was starving. After checking out the display of happy meal prizes (American Idol trash, which he knows nothing about), he marched up to the counter and proceeded to order a happy meal with chicken nuggets, french fries, apple slices, a chocolate chip cookie, and a chocolate milk shake. Yikes - the carbs!
Ian carried his tray to a booth and began eating. At least I was able to dissuade him from dipping the apple slices in the caramel sauce that comes with them. Geez - does everything on the planet have to be coated in something that is bad for us??? Ketchup may be the saving grace of french fries - at our house it sometimes counts as a vegetable. He finished every bit of his meal. I was astounded.
To pass time until the party was over, we brought along Madagascar Sorry. Ian is very good at reading the cards and following the directions. He played well, with no tantrums when one of his pawns was sent back to start or if he drew a card that didn't allow him to play. It was a delight to watch him participate in the one-on-one exchange of competitive play. For that hour he was a typical kid, and it was beautiful.
After completing the game, we went back to the birthday party a few minutes before it ended. We stayed in the lobby of the gym where it was quiet. After a few minutes, Ian began to get worried.
"What's wrong, honey?" I asked.
"Mom, what if Ainsley is gone?" Ian questioned.
"Why would she be gone, Ian?"
"She isn't out here with us. Maybe she has been shot," he said quietly.
"Shot? Ian. . .why do you think Ainsley has been shot?"
"Maybe she has been assassinated!" he said with a little fear in his voice.
Now, I'm wondering where in the world he could have come up with this idea. There has been so much talk about the shooting at Virginia Tech over the last couple of weeks; but Ian doesn't watch the news at our house. Maybe he heard something at school or read the front page of the newspaper. I have no idea. And he was not able to tell me where he got the idea that Ainsley might have fallen victim to such a terrible tragedy.
He began obsessing about it. He couldn't see Ainsley, so he assumed she must be dead. It was really getting out of hand. Finally, one of the gym employees came to the front and asked if we would like to come back to the party room to collect Ainsley. Once we were there and he saw that she was o.k., he ran over to her and hugged her. It was adorable and shocking all at the same time.
How do you protect a kid who suffers from anxiety from realities that are so far removed from his own world? It could happen anywhere, I know. But how can I teach him that he can't spend his life worrying about the terrible things that might - but probably will not - happen to him? It is important to think globally, but this is ridiculous! Perhaps I should teach him the Serenity Prayer.
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