In the Headlights of Autism

Today I was privileged to be in the company of greatness.

I stood before the woman who first helped me understand Asperger's Syndrome and how it affects my son. I met Dr. Temple Grandin. She is real. She is down to earth. She cares deeply about making our world a better place by her impact on families of autism.

Only a few moments later, I met another amazing woman. Jennifer McIlwee Myers sat next to me as we listened to Sean Barron describe his life with autism. Jennifer may well be the funniest woman alive. Her humor speaks to me because she is able to laugh at her own challenges, and those of her family members. "Autism doesn't run in my family," she said, "it gallops!"

Listening to these three people speak helped me come to grips with a part of my world that has been kept hiding in the corner. I mentioned it months ago and then swept it away. But today, after hearing the strength in Temple's, Sean's, and Jennifer's voices, I am now willing to accept the truth: Ainsley has Asperger's too. She is not imitating her brother; she is like him. She is not pushing my buttons; she is trying to cope (most of the time). She is not afflicted as severely as Ian is; but she needs my help nonetheless.

Yes, I will finally have her tested so she can move ahead and begin to develop her strengths. I will stop holding her to a different standard than I have for Ian. I will try to be fair but firm. And, most importantly, I will try not to dwell on what should have been, rather on what can be.