O.K., So I'm a Wimp

I admit it...I didn't fire Ian's specialist.

Telling him that I quit giving Ian most of his supplements was easier than I thought it would be, mainly because I got to practice first on a third year medical student who was doing a rotation in his office. She was with the nurse who usually gets all the updated information. The nurse has never cracked a smile. You can tell by the way her mouth turns down that it is following the path of gravity. How sad that she cannot find anything to smile about. She looks down her nose and over her glasses at you like you've done something wrong when you are reporting what has transpired with your child since the last visit. She reminds me of my second grade teacher - the only one I was ever afraid of.

The doctor keeps bringing up chelation. My feeling about chelation (and by definition this is true) is that it is for treating people who have toxic metal poisoning. Ian's test results indicate he is at acceptable levels for all heavy metals. It seems that putting a child through such a treatment would be like giving chemotherapy to someone who does not have cancer.

On the other hand, Ian's epinephrine is low, his norepinephrin is high, dopamine is through the roof, and serotonin is extremely high. The doctor said this could account for some of the violent behavior we have seen in Ian lately, and it is probably a good thing that we are giving him a break from the supplements. We'll test him again in a month and then reconsider our options after he has adjusted to the new Concerta dose.

I feel much better about the doctor-parent-patient relationship knowing I have made it clear that I don't just give my kid pills and then wait for the next appointment to roll around before I think about what is happening to him. I monitor Ian closely, EVERY day, so I can piece together the different elements of his treatment and his environment and the effect they have on him.

The main concern I have now is alleviating his anxiety so he can sleep at night. We tried a teeny tiny dose of Clonidine last night, and it seemed to do the trick. He fell asleep at 10:40 (instead of midnight) and slept until 8:00 a.m. Tonight I am going to zap him at 8:00 and see if he'll sleep until 10:40 a.m. Gosh, that sounds lovely! Hopefully, this will get him on the right track and he won't need it for very long.

He has had a really good day. He has been alert and in a terrific mood. At the pool, in front of everyone, he wasn't embarrassed to hug me. During the school year he prefers to give me his good-bye kiss in the laundry room so his friends outside won't see. It's nice to know he doesn't always want to banish me to New York. I would like to think I had a hand in helping him feel better about himself and about his crazy mom.