When should I start worrying?

The statistics scare me to death. Once you have a child on the autism spectrum there is a 50% chance that your other children will land there as well, and most likely will suffer more profound autistic traits. Depending on what you read, 1 in every 100 children are on the spectrum (or 1 in 1000, or 1 in 3 - pick which one you want). Boys used to outnumber girls 10-1, now it is 3-1 (again, depending on what you read).

When my daughter, Ainsley, was born, Ian had not yet been diagnosed with anything other than the profound ability to wear me out. On March 1, 2004 we learned officially that he has Asperger's Syndrome. Ainsley was 11 months old. Knowing that Ian was just two when his symptoms seemed to appear, I began watching Ainsley for any sign that she too might be entering that world I do not understand. We pounced on every delay and sought help immediately. Because of Ian's diagnosis, services were almost automatic for her. Her quick progress in walking and speech after she received help reassured me that the road might be easier for her.

Last month she turned 3, and I began to breath a little easier. Did she beat the odds? Now I am not so sure.

Lately, she has been repeating questions to me, over and over again within minutes of each other, sometimes seconds. Often it is the question that tugs at my heart: "Mamma, you're not going anywhere, are you?" Her plea to stay close to me. She asked me 8 times in less than 10 minutes while we were waiting to have her picture taken today. She asked 4 times before we left the house. Ian used to do the same thing, only his questions were usually different each day. He never seemed to worry that I would leave him.

Ainsley has also begun zoning into her own world. Like her brother, it is difficult to get her attention and pull her back. She talks to herself, reviewing stories she has heard.

Is her path running parallel to Ian's? I had so hoped she would not have to go through what he has endured. Am I strong enough to get through the autism jungle with two kids?

If nothing else, my children will keep me laughing, and that will help tremendously. Last night after Kung Fu, Ainsley went to the front of the classroom to get a hug from Ian's instructor. He adores her and always teaches her something new when she comes to see him. He was commenting on how smart Ainsley must be.

I added: Both of my kids are very smart, and Ian is my little genius.

Then he asked: Who, the one licking your elbow?