Affirmation

Yesterday was what I would call a difficult day for Ian. He got to sleep late the night before and was punchy all morning. We took him to the pool after lunch because it was a beautiful, sunny, hot day, hoping the water would help him get centered. Instead, the large Sunday crowd and an altercation with another child over some swimming flippers sent him sprialing downward.

Ian could not accept reality. In his world, possession IS the law. If it's in his hands, or if he has ever held it in his hands for any length of time, it must belong to him. Unfortunately, the little girl who kindly let him try on her flippers did not agree. A struggle ensued, I intervened and gave the girl back her flippers, and Ian became consumed with rage. Naturally, these meltdowns always seem to happen in large crowds, rather than in the privacy of our own home.

He was too far gone by then, too overwhelmed by the crowd and all the injustice weighing on his little shoulders. I gave Steve the signal, he picked Ian up and carried him to the car, leaving me with Ainsley, the beach bag, 2 kick boards, 2 noodles, a completely inflated turtle boat and the crab counterpart, 4 pairs of sandals, and a snack cooler. And I had the easy load.

Back at home, Ian went to his room to rest. Steve told him to decide for himself if he wanted to turn the day around. After a half hour, Ian was ready to join us again. Given the right setting and encouragement, he can control his behavior. It was wonderful to see him pull himself together. Too bad it didn't happen at the pool.

As he does every night, Ian called me to his room about 10 minutes after lights-out. He always says he is thirsty, but this is just a ploy to get me upstairs so he can ask me to snuggle with him. This time, instead of getting the water for him, I walked with him to the bathroom and had him fill his cup. He said he is afraid to get up and do it himself. I relocated a night light from his bedroom to the bathroom so he could find his way during the night if he needed to. He liked that idea, but he will never do it. He will continue to call me over the monitor until he leaves home for college. Ah, well, 18 stairs up and back down times 3 round trips per night for the next 11 years is......433,620 steps. By then, my butt should look great!

When Ian returned to his bed, I cuddled next to him and we talked quietly.

Ian: Mom, sometimes my snuggle buddies [stuffed animals] make me scared at night.

Me: "Why is that?"

Ian: "I don't know."

Me: "Well, what makes you feel better?"

Ian: "You do, Mom. I love you."