My son was 2 years old when I left work to stay home with him. We had just moved to the east coast and were getting used to our new life. We had yet to discover any of Ian's issues. I decided to enroll him at Gymboree for socialization and exercise. The first time we tried it, he loved it. He was delighted by the music, the activities, the parachute play, and of course, the bubbles.
Very quickly after that first wonderful session, however, Ian began to pull away from the group. He would run wildly through the play area, refused to sit during circle time, was constantly cutting in line and being impolite to the other children. I was horrified! My son, who was so delightful and well-mannered at home, became Bart Simpson in this setting. It was embarrassing to see the other kids and moms play adorably in a circle while Ian played catch-me-if-you-can.
I tried to force him to participate appropriately, which resulted in tantrums. The teacher was so sweet. She suggested we just let him "do his own thing", and when he was ready he would participate. The elaborate weekly scenarios and constant game playing were difficult to keep up with. The class moved quickly and it was important to stay with the story or you would miss the next activity because they tended to build on one another. Ian was lost before the class ever began.
Finally, I stood back and watched him. Over several weeks I noticed a child who was not enjoying the playful atmosphere. He did not get the make believe activities. He seemed overwhelmed by the music, unable to follow simple instructions, incapable of connecting with other children. He got plenty of exercise, but not the type I was paying for. After a year of attempting to make it work, we finally withdrew from the class. He seemed relieved. I felt defeated.
Jump ahead to age 5. After our move to Texas I was told about a wonderful gymnastics program that offered a class for kids with special needs. I couldn't believe it - someone was actually willing to take on this terrific yet challenging group of kids so they could build their muscles and enjoy activities other kids were doing. It is called My Gym.
The first time we went, both of my children were welcomed into the group to play and support each other. Not only did they have a great time, but they both tried activities they had never done before. There was a good mix of children with different issues, several who seemed to be on the autism spectrum. All of them were treated respectfully and had their parents or a caregiver close by participating with them. There were 3 - yes, three!!! - amazing and loving teachers for the group, not one. Each of them understood the kids they were dealing with and made certain they had the opportunity to participate safely. It was like having professional physical therapy set to music. I could not believe what I was seeing.
That was last July. Now, ten months later, both of my children are climbing rock walls, hanging upside down, doing summer salts, and testing their sensory limits every Friday afternoon with kids they can relate to. Ian has made a good friend who plays very imaginative games with him during free play. The differences I see in my children today have come about because the instructors do not let the kids opt out of trying the planned activities. When it is circle time, everyone must sit in the circle - no wandering off to "do his own thing." They must participate and complete each part of the program, no matter how much help they need. No child is forced to do anything that terrifies him; but each is pushed to test his own limits and to feel great about even the littlest success. Giving up is not an option.
I have seen it not only in myself, but in other parents with children on the autism spectrum: allowing our children to back out of things and justifying it because of their condition. That course is set for failure. Autistic children strive to stay in their debilitating comfort zone. It is our job as parents to ruffle their feathers, get them to try activities which challenge those fears that keep them in their cocoons. No place has done that for Ian like My Gym. It is wonderful to have a giggly and actively focused little boy who finally enjoys group activities. That is quite an accomplishment.
Mr. Kyle and all the gang at My Gym - YOU ROCK!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment