Tonight as our family gathered at the dinner table, Steve and I looked at Ian sitting quietly in his chair. A tender, sad face stared at the plate before him as a tear rolled slowly down his cheek. We asked what was wrong, and each of us reached out and held one of his hands.
"I was thinking about what it would be like if [my teacher] died," he sobbed quietly. Death has been on his mind a lot lately. He is working through it, trying to understand what it means to die. Lately, it bothers him terribly to think of losing the people he cares about.
This teacher has reached a part of Ian that no other educator has. He has loved all of his teachers, but this one is special. She gets it. She gets him. He feels accepted by her. And he doesn't want to lose her.
He had a substitute the other day, and I think that might be where this started. Regardless, he is starting to understand that things happen to other people, not just to him. And when things happen, many people are affected. He is starting to get the big picture. He is beginning to see who he is in relation to those around him. It is an awesome, scary, wonderful feeling.
My blog has long been my own explanation or interpretation of autism and how it affects our family. Sometimes, my kids' faces can explain things better than lengthy prose. This video is a first attempt for Ian and Ainsley to speak for themselves about Asperger's Syndrome, with a little help from Josh Groban.
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