The Best Birthday Party of All Time

It has taken me forever to write all this down. I started this on the 18th, but now it's the 23rd and I'm still writing. Sheeeeesh!

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined putting together a party like the one we had here yesterday. It certainly wasn't without a lot of help. Every adult had multiple jobs on Saturday as we pulled together the last minute details that made our Star Wars adventure the coolest thing ever to happen at our house. Thank you to all my family and friends for pitching in when I really needed you!

The thing that surprised me the most was how Ian behaved throughout the day. Not once did he ask how long until the party would start. He was constantly being told to stay out of this room or that, to go here or there while the adults put something together, or to do something else until another chore was completed. He was perfect in every way.

When the kids were told to go put on their costumes, they knew the fun was about to begin. Steve had on his Obi Wan Jedi robe and greeted guests with me, Queen Amidala. Together we put the guests in felt tunics tied with white cord at the waist. As we dressed them, we would ask, "Padawan [name], are you certain you are ready to commit yourself to the rigorous training of a Jedi?" The boys would giggle a "yes". Then we sent each of them into the great dining hall [our kitchen] for a Force fortified meal [pizza, grapes, vegies and dip, and Yoda soda served in cups with glowing straws].

After the meal, the Jedi trainees gathered in the Jedi temple training gym [our formal dining room], where they received verbal instructions from Obi Wan. He told them the importance of learning the Jedi code (respect for each other, never strike an unarmed person, no swinging light sabers near the chandelier, quiet solemn voices inside the temple, etc.) Then my brother-in-law and I placed the light sabers on the table for each child to select his own. Steve, Ian, and my Dad constructed them from bicycle handle bar grips, pvc pipe, and foam pool noodles. The kids went crazy over them.

Then we took the kids to the front yard to practice. First, the adults took turns throwing bean bags at each kid so they could practice swinging. I made the bean bags from Ian's old socks and pinto beans. After they each had hit a few bean bags, we brought out balloons for them to hit to one another. (Notice Ainsley's costume: she is Luke Skywalker wearing Dora the Explorer crocks!) They loved this part because the balloons were easy to hit, and even more fun to pop. Then, of course, they started dueling with each other and chasing Steve around the yard. After about 20 minutes, the kids were getting tired, so we rounded them up and headed inside for cake and ice cream.



We gathered around the bar in the kitchen with Ian sitting on a bar stool in front of the cake. We observed a moment of silence in honor of Obi Wan, who had just died. The boys were pushing each other down trying to see the R2-D2 cake. They sang the Happy Birthday song to Ian then rushed to the table to wait for sustenance. We barely made a dent in the cake. Both arms were gone and part of the dome, which left 3 entire cakes at the base!

As the kids were finishing up with their cake and ice cream, we took them 3 at a time to the laundry room for their next assignment. I told them, "This is the last phase of your Jedi training. Behind that door is a maze through which you must travel to the place where special light saber glowing crystals are hidden. Obi Wan is waiting for you on the other side to give you further instructions when you reach that point. When you return to the Jedi Temple, please do not tell the others about your journey, for they must find the way on their own. Here are Force fortified tablets to help guide you through the darkness [I gave each of them a gummy worm that I pulled from its package with a pair of glowing tweezers. They made the worms light up - very cool.] Then I opened the garage door and sent them through the maze Steve had constructed with cardboard boxes. The garage was completely dark.

At the other side of the maze was our inflatable jump house. It was filled with flashing balloons (the balloons had lights inside) and paper sacks with each child's name on them. They had to crawl into the bounce house and find their bag. Inside the bag was a crystal necklace that flashes when you squeeze it. There was also a small Lego space space ship kit, which they were told was going to be their fighter jet once they assembled it. The kids were loving this part.

We gave them some time to play before I announced that I had just received word that the Death Star had been completed. Their first assignment as Jedis was to destroy the Death Star and restore balance to the galaxy. The kids grabbed their light sabers and ran screaming for the back door. The Death Star pinata was hanging from the swing set (as usual-these kids know that is where we always hold our pinata bashing sessions). Into the darkness they ran, barely able to contain their excitement at getting to hit something really hard. Each used his/her own light saber to inflict tiny dents in the surface. After four rounds of beatings from each child, Steve had to use a baseball bat to smash it open.

The kids were as all children are when a pinata breaks - ravenous! They were like starving jackals on roadkill. As they were searching around the lawn, stuffing candy into their mouths and paper sacks, we smelled it...dog poop! Everyone had it on their shoes. I heard someone shout, "Who put dog poop in the pinata?" Man, I zeroed in on that kid immediately and quietly reassured him there was no poop IN the pinata, it was probably on his foot. And it was. It was on everyone's feet. Including mine. Steve and the kids had picked up all the messes before the party started. I don't know where this one came from, but it was smack-dab in the middle of the pinata line.

We were able to get the kids' shoes cleaned off as each re-entered the house. They gathered in the dining room to eat candy and flop on the floor. These children had already been on such a roller coaster ride, they were beginning to get tired. And Ian was getting itchy to open his presents. As soon as I agreed to let him begin, it was over. I swear. . .I didn't get to see a single gift unwrapped. It was done as fast as a lightning bold striking a 9 iron. And of course, Ian wanted to open every toy and get started playing immediately. Fortunately, my great friend Christy had my camera in hand and captured as many as she could.

I gave my mom the signal. Quietly, she walked upstairs and disappeared. Seconds later, Darth Vader appeared at the top of the stairs, breathing heavily and proclaiming,

“I have been waiting a long time for this meeting, Master Skywalker. You and your youngling Jedis may have destroyed the Death Star, but you cannot escape the Dark Side of the Force. Surrender now!”

He descended the stairs slowly, brandishing two red light sabers, one single beam and the other a double, like Darth Maul's.

The kids went crazy. They beat him, stabbed him, pummeled him. I actually felt sorry for poor Darth. Within seconds he was on the floor putting up the fight of his life.

All the rules of Jedi combat were being ignored. Vader was screaming "I surrender", but the Jedis were not listening (actually, they couldn't hear him through the mask). Finally, with Obi Wan's help, he was freed. Immediately, the Jedi's pounced on him again as if the fate of the galaxy depended on bringing this man down. Ainsley-Luke Skywalker was standing on a dining room chair, swinging her light saber at Darth Vader, barely missing the chandelier. My china cabinet was in grave danger - forget Vader, save the crystal!!!

Eventually, we get the Jedis to accept their victory and allow Darth Vader to retreat with dignity. Unfortunately, they destroyed his nads back on the stairs, and he had to limp to the laundry room for his costume change. Man, those 8 year-old boys can be brutal! Thanks for taking one for the team, James!

I looked at my watch: 6:35 - oh, crap! We still have 55 minutes to kill before parents arrive! Karin and Obi Wan quickly gathered the kids for a rousing game of Star Wars trivia. Karin, a veteran school teacher, had them sitting quietly on the floor and raising their light sabers to answer the questions. Damn, she's good!

With all the questions exhausted and 40 minutes remaining in the party,
Steve ushered the kids upstairs to the media room and let them watch the first part of Star Wars I. Ahhhhhhh, nice save Obi Wan. At this point, my dad was ready for the party to end....quickly!

The adult actors, stage hands, photographers, grips, gaffers, lighting specialists, and clean up crew began straightening as best we could. Mostly, we were enjoying the quiet. I didn't even mind the mess, because as the kids went upstairs, I heard one of them say,

"This has been the best birthday party I've ever been to!"

A couple of hours later, as my 8 year-old son lay in his bed, I snuggled next to him and asked how he was doing.

"Great," he said.

"I'm glad to hear you say that. What did you think of your party?" I asked.

"It was awesome!" he said in an exhausted whisper.

"How was the cake?" I querried.

"It was so cool," he smiled, remembering the glow of icing under candles.

"Favorite present?"

"R2-D2," he said with pride.

"Favorite birthday game?"

"Destroying the Death Star," his excitement preceded a yawn.

"Favorite moment during the party?"

He thought momentarily, then spoke slowly. "When my dad and I were fighting with our light sabers and he almost killed me, but I didn't die. That was the best part."