Grief and Creativity: Day 2

It has been a long time since I have written poetry. Perhaps it is because to me poetry should be about happy, beautiful things. As the last two days have helped me realize, there has been way too much sadness and anger covering for the grief I haven't allowed myself to experience. I thought I was handling it. In my book, that means pushing the pain to the side and continuing on as if it was no big deal. Not exactly something I feel like writing catchy phrases about.

Well, today was my day of reckoning. Time to put it all out there. How I have experienced (or failed to experience) grief in my life.




Happiness always comes with something to mourn.

The birth of a child
Brings worry of responsibility
And what can go wrong

The anticipation of first words
Then angst when they are not

The love in an embrace
Grief from a blank stare

After years of wondering
what the next loss will be
Emotions blur
and my heart aches

Trying to hide or deny
the pain only subverts it
Deeper,
swirling 'round
confusing light and dark

Sometimes seeds I plant become
hopeful blossoms that reach
toward warmth
But I know that isn't real

Then the fool sees they are
tears
with roots that hold tight
intertwined

See it for what it is

Real is what I have.