Introducing My Children to God

I became ordained as a minister last week. It wasn't because I am a religious person; I am not. I don't believe in going to church every Sunday to seek guidance and salvation. Those things are found within. The ability to know what is right and to do the right thing is not reserved for an elite group of people who worship in a particular building. Each of us has the ability to forgive our own transgressions and move on. Over the next decade or two, I hope to teach my children to find spirituality within themselves and not rely on others to tell them what to believe. God is what each of us need Him to be, and we create an image and belief system that works for us.

My first reason for taking on the title of Reverend was so that I could perform a marriage ceremony for some very dear friends who I hope will share a lifetime of happiness together. It was my examination of their relationship that enabled me to see I have been neglecting my duty to educate my children about God. For nearly eight years I have wondered when Ian would be ready to grasp a concept that is philosophical, not concrete. He knows about God, but does he really get God?

Ainsley is still in the elementary stages. She knows that at school, they pray before they eat. Now, when she plays Hungry Hungry Hippos, she makes the hippos pray before the game starts. I like that she understands we should be thankful for what we receive. Unfortunately, she doesn't always apply that gratitude to our own dinner table. I have heard her exclaim, "yuck!" while shoving her plate across the table when she doesn't think she wants to eat what has been placed before her. We'll keep working on the basics with her.

But right now I want Ian to understand that all religious ideas are debatable. No one on this planet has answers that are any truer than what he believes. If there is faith within him that an Almighty Creator made the rules by which he lives, then I expect him to use his common sense and apply those rules appropriately. Therein lies the difficulty for an Aspie: applying ideas that have little or no scientific basis and are far from black and white. And common sense, that's a tough one too. Ian claims not to have any. The impulsive and compulsive parts of his brain squashed out common sense very early in his life. My job is to guide him in resurrecting it.

While most children his age are learning how to apply the doctrine of their churches, Ian is still learning the basic concepts. I tried to explain "faith". He kept insisting that it meant "reading other people's minds" and became stuck on that idea. The discussion ended as quickly as it started. Maybe he isn't ready.

We are having most of the first floor of our house painted this week. Ian picked up a random aerosol can and sprayed it all over a window. It was a foam caulk that, fortunately, is water soluble and takes a long time to dry. Since he couldn't explain why he thought that was a good idea and he kept blaming it on everyone else around him, I concluded that he is probably right about his common sense. It done got up an' went! If he can't grasp the simple rule that you don't attempt to use things about which you know nothing, teaching him about God could be dangerous. I think we'll just keep working on simpler ideas for now. The paint fumes have made me light-headed, and that could last a while.