My Cup Runneth Over

I have taken on the task of starting a support group for our neighborhood. There are 900+ houses in this subdivision, and many of the families living here have children on the autism spectrum. Although I do not know the total number, I am aware of 5 children within 3 blocks of my house who are in various places on the autism spectrum. Seven families in the area are interested in participating thus far. Our first meeting is this Tuesday.

Why, you may wonder, are there so many kids so close together who have these challenges? It has nothing to do with the environment around our homes. All of these children were born elsewhere; our neighborhood is extremely transient. In fact, this area is a testament to the genetics of autism - there are a TON of computer programmers, analysts, accountants, and engineers in our neighborhood - real techie types. Get the picture?

Many factors contributed to my decision to form this group. For starters, I have only lived here for a year. Although I have met many wonderful people, I need a support system that understands what I go through every day. When I checked out the larger support group for the tri-city area, I felt lost. The vibe of the group was so negative, I left the one and only meeting I attended feeling worse than I did when I walked in the door. A support group shouldn't make you more depressed; it should lift you up and give you hope, make you feel good about what you are doing to improve your child's life and provide you with friends who are there for you.

Starting a support group gives me the opportunity to help parents who are just beginning their journey through autism. Besides the fact that I have 2 degrees in psychology, people have always seemed to feel comfortable telling me their troubles, knowing I would try to be objective in any suggestions I might give. Guess it's just my nature to be a shoulder for others to lean on. I enjoy helping people, and since I have left the world of paid employment it is this I have missed more than anything else. Not the paycheck. Not the power of authority. Not the status of being well-known in my area of expertise. Just simply doing good. I need that in my life once again.

Our neighbors seem to change constantly because our city is the corporate headquarters of several national and international companies, and people are transferred in and out of here on a revolving door. Many people have no family in this country, let alone in our city or state. In this type of environment I felt it was important for us to form a strong support system. Close in proximity means friends and neighbors who can help out in a pinch and know how to care for our kids. A tri-city group of strangers cannot provide that for us.

Another goal I have for this group is to focus on what our families can do together to help our kids with social issues. Beyond the regular parents' meeting, we will meet at a park or at some one's home to play games, work on taking turns, playing by the rules, making eye contact, and making friends. Not all at one time, of course. Our play dates will include entire families, sharing their skills and learning some new ones. We will deal with neurotypical sibling issues, perhaps getting those children together independently in their own group. The possibilities are endless when you have a group of people that meets often enough to build a trusting relationship.

Am I being too idealistic? I hope not, because in less than 48 hours, 7 mothers will be in my living room to help me make this crazy idea a reality. Not because it is glamorous or because it is "the thing to do". But because we WANT it to work for our kids' sake. We NEED it to work for ours.