For the last several weeks, Ian has been having extreme difficulty going to sleep at night. He is frightened the second we leave his room and screams for our return 5 or more times before he finally nods off. Some nights he has been awake as late as 12:30 a.m.
While Steve and I realize this is a deeply rooted problem, after the 3rd or 4th screech to get us back upstairs, our patience is running thin. It is difficult not to get angry with him, so we have to play "it's-your-turn-cuz-I-went-the-last-two-times" so we won't lose it.
Ian cannot express what is really bothering him. He says things scare him: his bed, his pillow, his stuffed animals, shadows, the sound of the fish tank, sounds from downstairs, monsters, ghosts - you get the idea. His vision is so bad without his glasses that everything he sees looks scary in the dark.
He also can't turn off his brain. We tried melatonin, and sometimes it helps to relax him. Lately, we've tried Clonidine with mixed results. I hate to drug my kid so much. I want him to be able to wind down on his own.
"BUT HE IS NOT A NEUROTYPICAL CHILD" I remind myself. Sleep may always be elusive for him.
There are so many factors at play - Asperger's Syndrome, sensory defensiveness, and being a 6 year-old to name just a few. Any one of them is enough to throw a typical kid off balance; but combine them in one body and you have mayhem at the end of the day.
We know the sound of the water in the fish tank has been bothering him. Our solution, to move the fish tank out of his room, was unacceptable to Ian. He loves his fish. Sometimes knowing he has to feed them is what gets him out of bed on time in the morning. Steve and I were about to force the issue, when I remembered a gift I purchased for Steve last summer for his birthday. A pair of Bose Quiet Comfort headphones. Steve uses them when he flies because they eliminate the loud jet engine noise, making it possible for him to work comfortably.
We had Ian try them 2 nights ago. He found them uncomfortable at first, I stayed with him until he fell asleep at about 10:10 p.m. Last night, he tried them again. This time he was eager to get comfortable and let them do their job. Again, I stayed with him until he fell asleep, this time at 9:10 p.m. - just 30 minutes after lights out. He was still wearing them when I went in to wake him at 7:00 this morning.
At this point it is impossible to know if it was the headphone or my presence that helped him go to sleep. I am guessing it was the combination that did the trick. Slowly, I'll start leaving a little earlier each night until he is confident he can get to sleep on his own.
No rush though. We both can always use a little snuggle time at the end of the day.
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