Getting Through

It's another Kung Fu Monday night, that wickedest of weeknights for this family. I decided after last week that I could no longer watch Ian stand around in class, lost in the grunting around him. It is just too painful for me to see him that way, and I don't seem to be able to help. Perhaps my presence is a distraction.

Hoping that my absense would be a relief to him, Ainsley and I opted to try out the water park outside the rec center. We kept our plan quiet, as I was concerned Ian would want to skip Kung Fu class to go with us. He seemed oblivious, despite his outward appearance of having it all together. I held my breath as Ainsley and I sneaked off to the pool area. The fact that we were wearing swim suits didn't even phase him. We both had a great time. Even the warm water felt cool in the 101 degree air - and that was at 7:30 p.m.

There are many problems in working out with other kids. One is that Ian doesn't relate well to his peers in the class because he doesn't know them personally. He functions well with adults or alone. Another challenge is that the other little guys in the class spend much of their time goofing around when Sifu isn't watching. Ian needs a serious partner who will challenge him. There are a couple of boys who take it very seriously, but they are brown belts and way beyond Ian's capabilities now. He would probably do well to work with them, because they wouldn't be afraid to throw a punch, but at this point they might feel a little cheated.

The biggest problem is me. I can't watch my baby take a beating, even if he knows how to defend himself. Actually, the kids really don't get hurt. No one tries hard enough to hurt anyone. It's the adults in the class that end up getting bruised. Still, it is difficult for me to watch him struggle, especially when it is with something about which I have little or no knowledge. Staying away from class may be the best way I can help him. Not having Ainsley in the room being cute and attracting attention will also help.

After class, I spoke with Sifu to find out how Ian had done. His wife, who is also a black belt, worked one-on-one with Ian. She was tough and made him do what she said. When he wouldn't listen, she made him sit out. Ian didn't like that idea tonight, so he worked hard. He said he really enjoyed it and learned a lot. And...he was still very alert when class ended!

I am so looking forward to picking him up from class on Wednesday night to see if his enthusiasm continues. I don't want him to give up just because it is starting to become difficult. If he learns that getting help with the tough stuff is o.k., he'll learn how to do things the right way instead of making it up as he goes along.