Now We're Cookin'

It is well-known in this house that when Daddy is away, Mommy doesn't like to cook. We do sandwiches a lot, pancakes, anything that is easy and doesn't require turning on the stove or oven. Steve has been out of town for most of last week and will return in a couple of days. Last night I wanted to have something a little more traditional for dinner since we had already had pizza one night and IHoP on another.

Ian wanted chicken nuggets - ugh! There weren't enough in the freezer for both kids, so I decided to try something a little unconventional for this type of fare. I opted to make them from scratch ... and I had the kids help me. Before we got started, I took a deep breath and said silently, "We can do this. Stay calm. Be encouraging and supportive. Let them see what they can do." Earlier in the afternoon they took turns slicing fruit for a salad. They seemed to enjoy that, and Ian even ate his entire bowl full. Normally, he won't eat any food that is mixed with another. So, I thought I'd take a chance with dinner.

I sliced the organic chicken breasts into chunks. Ainsley whisked the eggs. Ian measured the flour. Ainsley pushed the button on the food chopper to make bread crumbs. We added some seasonings and everyone took a turn mixing the dry ingredients. Ainsley was very excited about her role as chicken nugget breading specialist. It took a while, but she did them all. Ian did not want to touch the slimy stuff. I am astonished at his squeamishness over touching raw eggs and chicken when that kid will eat a booger without hesitation.

I "baked" the nuggets on the grill, knowing I would need to watch them closely. Ian and I began emptying the dishwasher while Ainsley worked on the salad. Within ten seconds, Ian was distracted by something on the table. (Oh, did I mention I forgot to give his afternoon dose of Ritalin?) It was a DVD I received in the mail today - photos of my Aunt Mary who passed away last month. They were accompanied by beautiful harp music, which I am sure must have been a song that she loved. Rather than attempting to get Ian back on task, I decided to take a few minutes to let the kids watch the DVD. For all practical purposes, I know I should have made him finish the dishwasher, but this seemed to be a good time for him to learn more about his family.

So, we watched it. I told the kids who all the people were. There was even a picture of our entire family, sans Grandpa, taken at Grandma's house in the late 70's. When Ian saw me at age 10 or 11, he gave me an enormous hug and rubbed my nose with his. There is something about seeing pictures of me as a child that makes him feel closer to me. I love moments like these.

When the DVD was over, we continued with the tasks at hand. As I was putting away some spatulas, Ian sidled up to me, put his arms around me, and cried. When I asked what was wrong, he said, "I am sad about your aunt. And I am sad for you."

"Oh, sweetie! Thank you for caring so much. I really miss her, and I am sorry you didn't get to meet her. Every time I talked to her, she asked about you and Ainsley. She knew you and loved you, even though she never got to see you face-to-face. She was a really special person," I explained.

"I know that," he said with a hiccup.

Then Ainsley said, "Don't forget me!" and she joined us in a family hug with tears in our eyes.

After a few minutes, I realized the chicken nuggets were in trouble. Running outside with heavy duty oven mitt in hand, I lifted the lid on the 550 degree grill to reveal the slightly charred but still edible chicken bits. The kids were much less optimistic. Once they were cool enough to handle, I selected the morsels that still resembled chicken and not charcoal briquettes and put those on their plates with huge mounds of ketchup on the side. Then, I eagerly bit into a remaining nugget.

"MMMMMMMMMM! Those are FABULOUS! Oh, my GOSH! You HAVE to try these!" The dramatic emphasis got Ian and Ainsley's attention.

"Really?" The asked, hopeful but not quite sure.

"Yes! MMMMMM. They are SO good. These are MUCH better than McDonald's nuggets." I added convincingly.

Ainsley took a small bite. "Mmmmmmm. They ARE good!"

Then Ian dipped one in ketchup and tried his. He nodded and agreed, "Wow! These aren't good. They're GREAT!"

"And do you know WHY they are so great?" I asked, receiving blank stares in response. "Because YOU made them from scratch! These are the real deal." Both children beamed with pride and continued to eat their dinner. In fact, they never once complained about the extra-extra crispy texture.

Although it is difficult these days to get either of my children to consume a balanced meal or to sit in their chairs until they have finished eating, these matters seem trivial to me right now. For the first time in weeks, we all worked together in the kitchen toward a common goal with very little bickering or complaining. We shared knowledge, skills, laughter, and tears and strengthened a bond that I hope will last a lifetime. That's a pretty cool accomplishment for any day.

Breakfast of Champions

This was Ainsley's breakfast on Friday: apple juice in a wine glass with a straw, Fruity Pebbles, and cold cheese pizza. I feel better about this one than the mac-n-cheese. Don't ask me why -- oh... it must be all the "fruit".

It's in the Genes!

The research results are compounding weekly as scientists are finding - at last - that autism is caused, at least in part, by defects in our genes.

Yesterday, ABC news reported that a new study identifies three genes responsible for learning that are inactive in autistics. In typical genetic disorders, the gene is mutated, missing, or incapable of functioning. These three genes, scientists believe, CAN BE ACTIVATED by early intervention behavioral and educational therapies.

In other words, not only are we on the right track, we are even on the right train! Keeping our kids mentally active and focused on learning is what is bringing them around.

The ABC report suggests that looking for drugs that can do the same is the next step. I am not sure I agree with that philosophy, but I am certain the pharmaceutical industry does.

Over the last couple of weeks we have given Ian a new drug called Vyvance. It is supposed to last longer in the system to get the ADHD child through the school day and beyond the homework. I figured it was worth a try. For Ian, it meant a longer absorption time, less control of his hyperactivity, increased impulsive behavior, and less ability to get on task much less stay there. The last three days have had us both so frustrated we couldn't stand to be around each other. My demands were unrealistic, and his behavior was inappropriate and sometimes mean. We both fell asleep in tears last night.

This morning he is back on Adderall XR, and my wonderful boy has returned. I asked him to pick up his room so our sweetheart of a housekeeper could clean in there. Instead of the typical "cleaning is so boring!" retort followed by a tantrum and an hour of him checking into fantasy-land, I heard "O.K. mom!"

And he did it! Well, he made an heroic attempt, and I was able to prompt him in certain areas to get a large portion of his laundry put away. Last night I was afraid he was regressing. This morning I know he can do anything given the right therapy and the right kind of support.

Next summer, I think I'll send both of them to camp ... for 3 months!!! And NO MORE MESSING AROUND WITH THE DRUGS! He is in a good place. Now, we have to work on Ainsley.

Breakfast

Am I a bad mother if I let my kids eat leftover macaroni and cheese for breakfast?

Helping with Art

For the last two years, watercolor painting has been my salvation from stress. There is something about getting the creative juices flowing that makes me feel like my purpose in life goes deeper than washing dirty laundry or reheating leftovers for dinner. When I paint, I am in another world where I can choose what the weather will be. It is a beautiful place.

Now I can share that space with the internet world.

Last week my new website was launched - Art Helping Humanity

It is a concept I have thought about almost constantly since I sold my first painting about a year ago. The site allows anyone to purchase my paintings and prints, as well as other people's art. Currently, there is also a photographer offering her unique style of pictures along with my paintings. Every purchase results in a donation to a charity that is selected by the artist. Several of my works are earmarked for organizations that provide excellent services for individuals with autism and their families. They are:

Decoding the Mystery of Autism, which contributes to the Center for Children with Special Needs in Boston, Massachusetts;

See Me, linked to Autism Treatment Centers of Texas in Dallas;

Continuous Puzzle of Autism, helping the Autism Society of America in Bethesda, Maryland; and

Autism's First Flutter, with proceeds going to Ramapo for Children, in upstate New York.

You can probably tell by the charities I have selected that I am just millimeters shy of falling off the left side of the earth. Just a few minutes ago, Ian demonstrated to me that he is stepping on my heels as fast as he can.

I asked the kids to turn off the t.v. and the computer and to meet me in the kitchen to discuss our next activity of the day. Honestly, I hoped they had something in mind because I'm too tired to think of anything creative today. Between Ian calling me to his room twice during the night for a drink of water and Ainsley joining us in our bed at 2:00 a.m., there isn't a cell in my brain that is awake enough to keep the two of them entertained. When they reached my side, Ian began insisting with a shriek that God had created all of the energy in the earth and we needed to turn off all the electricity in the house before we used it all up. He walked around the house turning everything off that had a switch or a button.

I am thrilled that he is becoming so energy conscious. On the flip side, however, as soon as he finished dimming the lights, he stood next to me and asked,

"Mom, can I have the Star Wars Complete Saga video game?"

"How is that going to save energy?" I asked.

"I'll play it with the lights turned off," he said.

"Oh, I see. But your computer uses electricity," I reminded him.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Maybe the game hasn't been invented yet, so I can't go buy it anyway," he tried to hide his disappointment.

"You could invent it," I suggested.

"No, I can't. Kids don't invent things. Only God invents things," he said.

At that moment, I stared at my son and had a vision of him skidding past me on the sidewalk at the edge of the earth and flying off into the deep end of huge canyon of confusion. We looked at each other in silence. I could think of nothing to say. Neither could he. Discussions like this typically go on for 20 minutes at least. We both must be in really bad shape.

Ian turned and walked upstairs to the playroom and began building some new creature with his Bionicle pieces. Even if he thinks he can't invent something, he is extremely creative and artistic. I hope ... with fingers crossed and breath held ... that he will develop enough interest in my strange painting techniques to create a masterpiece of his own to sell on the new site. I wonder what charity he will select to be the beneficiary of his talent.

I have decided to begin searching for a charity that provides massages and hot herbal tea for mothers who are so exhausted they can't even smart off to their children. If I wasn't so tired, I'd paint them a picture, too. Right now, all I can do is click my mouse on the "save now" button.

OMG! It's July 1st!

We stayed home today. I decided not to take any chances.